Clients Love Language

Why Knowing Your Interior Design Clients Love Language Matters

As someone who studied Psychology in college, I began incorporating a single question into my questionnaire that forever changed my process. I made the conscious decision to translates a person’s love language into the world of Interior Design for a more beneficial design experience. With this methodology I was able to understand how my client’s wanted to experience their design and it was a complete game changer! Whether or not you’ve ever read the book, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman or taken the Love Language Quiz to learn what your own love language is, I promise you – this will be an ah-ha moment. 

Love Languages

As a brief overview, Gary Chapman proposes that there are five different languages of love, or ways in which we desire to be loved. By Chapman’s beliefs, love is not a one size fits all and everyone fits into all five categories at varying levels. Those five love languages include Words of Affirmations, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. But these aren’t just for romantic relationships. Our love language (and by that I am referring to the one(s) that we rank highest for), spread throughout other parts of our lives. It’s in our friendships, family dynamics, partnerships, and so much more. 

Before we get to it, I mentioned that I ask Clients a single question. You guessed it. The client literally is “What is your love language?” Here it is for reference:

Love Language Questionnaire

Now here’s how those love languages translate into the world of Interior Design…


Words of Affirmations

This language uses words to affirm other people.

Communication and validation is key with them. In fact, you should over-communicate. 

  • Establish confidence with them.
  • They will require more verbal communication.
  • Be sure to let them know the door is wide open for communication and you prefer it
  • You may want to schedule timed check-ins with them such as biweekly calls
  • Frequently update them on status
  • Affirm their decision making
    “Thank you for your insight”
    “That’s great feedback!”
    “Thank you for letting me know”
  • Relate to the struggles of living through construction or the initial complaints that brought them to you
    “I appreciate hearing your concerns. Let’s talk further”
    “I can certainly understand why that must be difficult to live with. I’m confident we can resolve this for you”
  • Understand they may have decision fatigue so keep your selections to a minimum
  • Validate before you critic
    “I appreciate all the hard work you put in to source items on your own, however…”
  • Create cozy corners for reading/reflection, etc. 
  • They most likely won’t be opposed to artwork with writing, poems or empowering quotes being utilized

Quality Time

This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.​
  • Make eye contact when speaking to them
  • Keep your phone on silent and/or removed from their eyesight
  • Don’t be on a time limit with them. Considering extending appointments so they aren’t rushed. 
  • Be invested in them as much as you are in the project (if not more)
  • You may want to schedule bi-weekly zoom sessions so they feel they have your undivided attention
  • Account for more on-site visits
  • Design intentionally with connection in mind. Consider a conversational area
  • Design a warm and inviting space. This may be in selecting a warmer color palette even with whites
  • Incorporate their memories into the home
  • Show appreciation for their time investment
  • Create plans and predictability where you can. Set your guidelines from the beginning regarding communications, site-visits, follow-ups, hours of operations, etc.

Receiving Gifts

For some people, receiving a heartfelt gift is what makes them feel most loved.
  • Consider asking on their questionnaire what their hobbies are, favorite foods, local restaurants, etc.
  • Ensure client experience is top notch
  • Provide gifts here and there to ease the burden of construction or at milestones
  • Send them blog links or products you come across they may like for other spaces
  • Enhance the experience as much as you can
  • Plan for snacks/meals at the presentation
  • Personalize gifts when given
  • Close your project with champagne and dessert (or whatever they may enjoy)
  • Consider doing a grand reveal to them at the end
  • Bring their kids/animals a small gift as well
  • Leave space to personalize their design with travel artifacts, mementos, etc. 
  • These clients may be more open to open shelving, glass cabinets, etc to showcase items

Acts of Service

For these people, actions speak louder than words.
  • Provide solutions and always reference back to the solutions your design solved for them
  • Consider a post-project catered party for immediate family/friends
  • Always ask what their needs are and do your best to meet them
    “Is there anything I do to help you while I’m on-site?”
    “Do you have any questions while I’m here?”
  • Be pre-emptive in understanding their needs
    “What items are on your agenda to tackle at our upcoming session. I want to be sure we get to them.”
  • These clients may like to entertain more
  • Consider a coffee bars, liquor cart or other “stations” to allow them to meet their guests needs quicker
  • Pay attention to the small things.
    “The last time we talked, I noticed…”

Physical Touch

To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate physical touch.

For obvious reasons, this isn’t taken literal.

  • Introduce yourself with a handshake each time
  • Design with comfort and texture at the forefront
  • Provide samples of everything where applicable
  • These are ideal showroom clients
  • Make it a tactile experience
  • Use their sense where you can. This includes taste as well
  • Designing intimate spaces is ideal, even if the space is large
  • Use larger upholstery such as a sofa or sectional as opposed to a separate accent chairs
  • Use oversize throw blankets where one is necessary
  • Consider using warm tones, low lights and soft hues
  • Give them your undivided attention

In discussing ways to elevate your design and service experience, what better way than to cater it to them specifically? I hope breaking down these five love languages and how they might translate in the design world allow you to meet your clients need, banish frustration and deliver that highly elevated level of care they’re looking for. 

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  • Hi, I'm Kim!

  • I’m an Interior Designer, HGTV’s Designer of the Year – People Choices and your Interior Design Business Advisor. Through my systems and processes, I scaled my business to 6-figures and now I’m helping you do the same. 


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